Two Point Hospital (Europe)
Two Point Hospital for PC has an unlikely premise for a successful game, with the player taking the part of a hospital manager tasked with constructing and managing a hospital. The job is a comprehensive one, with the needs of the buildings users to be taken into account: vending machines, seating, toilets and much more are just some of the items the player will have to consider as they set up their hospital.
About the GameThe game is the successor to Theme Hospital, and has maintained the previous game’s light touch. A medical-based construction game could become too intense, so having the patients contract comical and fictional illnesses is a good call. Examples of the diseases in the first game had patients impersonating Elvis Presley, mutating into aliens and suffering – literally – from big heads. The humour is even sillier this time around with ‘light-headedness’ causing the patient’s head to be replaced with a light-bulb, and a ‘pandemic’ meaning that they have pans stuck to their heads: glorious goofiness that will keep you laughing even as you construct enough shelter and food for all. More about these ailments below. Patients can die in this version, and may even turn into ghosts who then terrorise the living, chasing patients, doctors and everyone else about the hospital. At least until a janitor with Ghost Capture skills can come along and despatch them even more permanently.
What to Do?The player’s mission is to do, pretty much, everything! Staff members, especially doctors, must be trained; they must all be assigned tasks, awarded appropriate breaks and, of course, paid for their work. Patients need to be housed, fed and hydrated while they wait to be treated, which should not take too long. If the waiting room gets too cold, icicles will start to form on the ceiling and all the patients will catch colds. They can also catch other illnesses from fellow patients and pass them on to staff members, again, especially if they are left waiting for too long.
Ailments to Watch Out for
- Light-Headedness: Going light-headed isn’t always fun, but the cure might seem a bit harsh. Patients must have their new light-bulb heads unscrewed and a 3D printed replacement put on instead!
- Mock Star: Patients begin to suffer from the delusion that they are the greatest rock star that ever lived, and need treatment from a sympathetic and friendly psychiatrist to understand that, no, they are not Freddie Mercury and must Break Free of their Ga-Ga belief
- Animal Magnetism: Wowing all the chicks with your animal magnetism has a different flex in this game: you literally become attractive to small animals which then get stuck to you! This ailment is apparently caused by mutated pheromones – or cheap deodorant! Patients can be cured though, by being blasted with the ultrasonic cannon and then vacuumed clear of pets before being sprayed to ensure that the condition doesn’t recur
- Pandemic: Do you get ‘stuck’ get trying to cook? You might end up with this ailment in which an involuntary attachment to kitchen utensils sees you walking around with a pan on your head. The procedure to remove it is complex and fraught with danger – no, it isn’t, they use a massive magnet on a crane to get it off!
- Bed Face: You know how if you move your head around a lot on the pillow you end up with Bed Head? Well, this is similar, a distortion of the face caused by sleeping with your face pressed up against the pillow in a weird way. Cured by a Nurse, the Pharmacy and some time on a Ward